My Grandma's Wisdom ...

Monday, February 4

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My daughter ... Complicated Kai ... laughs at me.
It's true.     When did I get so old?  
Just wait ... it'll happen to you too.   You'll toss in an expression you've  used forever ...
and there will be a short pause ... followed by a laugh ... and then ...
"What does that mean?"

So I need your help.  Please tell me you've heard some of these.

Now I haven't used this one in awhile ... but it's obvious ... right?
I think it means there's a "fly in the ointment".  What?  That doesn't explain it?
Okay ... it means something's not right ... or you've got a problem.
I'm guessing it came along when people had horses and buggies and things 
would get caught or snagged in the reins.
(And NO, I wasn't around when they had horses and buggies)
 I have no idea where this word came from.  I did try to look it up ... but nothing really
did it justice.  Should you ever want to be fluent in "grandma-ese" ... use this word when
you think something is off-kilter ... okay ... off-center ... not right.
 I like this one ... and my grandma used to say this a lot.  Obviously it means ...
 lots!  
Well maybe not so obvious to you I guess.   But evidently ... "back in the day" ...
and I don't exactly know when ... back in the day was ... there was a very popular
product called Carter's Little Liver Pills.
I guess there was a lot of them.
 This one makes no sense ... cuz bugs' ears ... if they actually have them ... are not cute.
Doesn't matter ... I still say it.  It's just cool.  You could say ...
cuter than a puppy ... but that just doesn't flow.
 Well ... I hope my rugs don't have bugs.  But I suppose if they did ...
they would be warm and snug.
Yeah ... you're right ... makes no sense.
 What in the world?
Yeah ... I'm just sayn'.  This originates with Lincoln and his
employer Sam Hill ... or some other boring trivia.
Well ... wouldn't you be really upset if someone got you all wet?
I know ... weak.  
This was my favorite!
My grandma ... and my mom ... for that matter ... always used this.
Whenever we'd be getting dressed ... and didn't look exactly perfect ...
they'd use this one.
Clearly ... we all have to "get on board" with this one.    If your kids are running around
or whatever ... you'll never notice a few flaws or smudges ... right?
Cool ... right?  So true.

Like the time I went to teach my class and wore two different shoes.    I was hoping 
nobody would notice ... since I was such an interesting speaker .
No such luck.  High school kids notice everything!
(Well ... it doesn't work in all situations.)

I hate to admit it ... but the definitions for these phrases don't really ...
"cut the muster". 
(You like how I threw that one in for free?)
But ... even though you may not be able to literally translate an old saying ...
expressions are usually generational and the 
"whole is usually better than it's parts".

In other words it's "just an expression" ... duh ... figure it out.

Oh ... and here's one more.  Now please tell me this isn't THAT old.

Don't be a hot dog.

Come on ... tell me you're heard that one ... pleeeaase.



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